Relationship Reflection

       Relationships and partnerships are important to me because I feel that every person I have met in my life has impacted me in either a negative or positive way and regardless has helped to shape me into the person I am today. As I have grown up and matured, I have realized just how important it is to have positive people and healthy relationships. Life is rough without having family and friends by your side to support you in your decisions, give you advice when you need it, and a shoulder to cry on when necessary. No one should have to go through life alone. Relationships and partnerships have brought me a great deal of stress but they have also brought me a lot of happiness and joy. We all have a want to feel loved and needed and we are all deserving of love. One thing that I have learned about relationships and friendships over the years is that I have a different relationship with each of my friends. I have those friends who are more like acquaintances who I say hello to every now and then but who I would never share my deepest secrets with, then I have very close/best friends who I share everything with and go to for advice, then I have good friends who I enjoy spending time with but perhaps wouldn’t tell them anything private or personal, and then I have long-distance friendships that I take very seriously. Some of my long-distance friendships are some of the most genuine and loyal relationships I have with friends and for that I’m thankful. Not a lot of people can appreciate having a friend that lives far away but I do. Friendships often lead to finding true love is another reason why relationships are important. “Healthy relationships are a vital component of health. There is strong evidence that healthy relationships relate strongly to people's health and well-being.” (2009) Relationships help us to build emotions. Relationships and partnerships are also important because they help us to learn more about ourselves and the type of person we are and who we want to be in life. I have learned so much about relationships over the years but more importantly by experiencing good and bad relationships and partnerships, I have learned so much about myself.

            Some of the current people that I have positive relationships/partnerships with are my husband, my sixteen month old daughter, my angel baby in heaven, my father, my step Mom, my Mother in law, My Father in law, and some friends which include: Amber and Ann.

 My husband is not only my husband but he’s also my best friend. He’s someone I can rely on to be there for me when I need him, he listens to me, and he’s a great provider for our family. We communicate on a daily basis and I feel that is why we have such a strong marriage. We don’t keep secrets from each other, we’re very open and honest about things, and we are always complimenting each other. We are more in love today then we were when we got married. He’s my soul mate and I’m proud to call him my life partner. 

We have a sixteen month old daughter who is the light of my life. She is truly a miracle baby and I could not live this life without her in it. She is my ultimate joy in life and I’m enjoying watching her grow and learn new things every day. She is so full of love and laughter and she has made me want to better myself in every way I can. I spend a lot of time with my daughter, communicate with her and I feel this helps to promote a healthy and positive relationship with her.

I lost a baby at 11 weeks pregnant yet but from the moment of conception, I became a mother and even though I lost my child I will always love him/her and have a special bond with him/her. I still feel a special/close bond with my child even though he/she is not here on Earth with me. I gave my child a name (Angel Sky), created a memory box for him/her, and I do special things on his/her expected due date every year. I like to keep the memory of my pregnancy alive. I also write letters to my unborn baby in a journal as if he/she were here with me.  All of these things have helped me to heal from my loss although I’ll never 100% be healed from my loss. I think this type of relationship promotes healthy relationships just because I tend to not take people in my life for granted. It allows me to have an even close-knit relationship with my daughter and a close bond with the baby that is growing in my belly. I am forever grateful to have been given the opportunity to get pregnant when it was such a struggle and when I know there are millions of people out there that struggle to get pregnant themselves and a lot of women out there who are unable to have a baby.

My Dad and Step Mom are two people I know that I can count on for anything. My Dad is very special to me for many reasons. He’s a good father but more importantly he’s a good person who has a good heart and a wonderful Grandpa to my daughter. We've been through a lot & I love him very much. He always knows how to make me laugh and always tries his best to direct me in the right direction when I get lost on occasion. My Step Mom has never tried taking my Mom's place. Instead, she's just been a supportive person in my life and has been there when my Mom wasn't there for me. She's perfect for my Dad & treats him like he deserves to be treated. I love her for that. My little brother John who is almost eight years old is one of my best friends. I love him dearly & hope that he looks up to me as a good role model. I've watched him grow over the past five years & it's been amazing to experience that. I have a great family and I’m very thankful for that! 

I have the greatest in-laws anyone could ever ask for. They have been there for my husband and I in ways that no one else has and they have been very supportive of our decisions and of our life together. I know I can call them anytime and that they will always be there for us. They are wonderful in so many ways and I just adore them. They are such a big part of my life. They live in New York but always make sure to come visit us and their granddaughter at least twice a year, sometimes more! It means a lot that they always take the time, money, and effort to come visit even though they live fourteen hours away. They don’t let the distance be an excuse as to why we don’t have a special relationship. The relationship I have with my Mother in law is special. She is more like a Mother to me. She has been there for events when my real Mother should have been there but instead she was there. (My wedding, my pregnancy, the birth of my daughter, etc) I’m thankful for the relationship I have with her because I know not every girl gets to have a wonderful relationship with their Mother in law like I do.

Amber is my best friend that I have known since high school. Our friendship is very unique. She lives in Florida so we have a long-distance friendship but we always make time for each other, keep in touch on a daily basis, and don’t have to live close by to know that we love each other. She has stuck by me through everything, never leaving my side. She's been there to guide me, advise me, and she has loved me unconditionally even though I have many obvious faults & flaws. She accepts me for who I am and I feel blessed to be such a big part of her life and to have her in mine. Although I'm not religious, my husband and I decided that we wanted our child to have a God-Mother (In a non-religious kind of way) and she knows exactly what I'm talking about. She accepted our offer & we can't imagine anyone else being our child's God-Mother. I just recently became her children’s god Mommy too and I couldn’t be happier! I love her and her three boys. Thank you for loving me the way that you do and for accepting me who I am on the inside. You're the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for and I love that we share a best friend/sister bond. I love that our friendship grows stronger and stronger with each passing day! I think Amber and I have a positive partnership just because we don’t let the distance be excuses as to why we can’t be friends, we always make time for each other, communicate often, and involve each other in our live. We always complement each other and remind each other how special we are to each other. Just like in a relationship, I feel it’s important that friendships have that re-kindling spark and Amber and I have that in our friendship. “Friends can pick up where they left off, regardless of the time and distance that separates them. Real friends can go months without speaking, but when they do, it seems like yesterday. It doesn't matter who calls who, or who called who last, they are just glad to hear from each other. Time and distance can't separate real friends.” This is Amber and I. (Coach, 2010)

Ann and I have known each other for seven years. We met on a social networking website called Netfriendships.com that is no longer online or accessible. The website shut down. We have gotten to know each other through quite a bit over the years by speaking on the phone and spending many countless hours online chatting and texting. She lives in Missouri so this is another long-distance friendship but I cherish what we share and feel blessed to have her in my life. We keep in contact on a daily basis and write each other through mail often. I’m hoping one day we’ll be able to meet in person but until then I will enjoy having her in my life. She’s a dear friend and I love her dearly! I think Ann and I have a positive healthy friendship/partnership because we respect each other, make time for each other, and listen to each other. These traits help to promote healthy friendships. 

Growing up, I have endured many challenges to developing and maintaining relationships that I have learned from my experiences overtime. Some of the challenges that I have faced regarding relationships/partnerships have been communication, maturity, age, acceptance, distance, bias, sincerity, forgiveness, and time.

The special characteristics of these relationships that make some, if any, partnerships are honesty, sincerity, loyalty, love, caring, respectfulness, knowing how to forgive and apologize when needed, making an effort and making time for those that are important to you, and knowing how to communicate.

My experiences with my relationships/partnerships, including my ability to be an active reflective contributor, could impact my work as an effective early childhood professional because I already have experience having relationships with people so making friends will be easy, I’ll appreciate the friendships I make and have, I will have good social skills and know the importance of helping others, and doing my job. I know I already have a passion for working with children but having the ability to do so would make me appreciate my job even more and the opportunity to work with children. I think everything I have learned from my relationships/partnerships will result to me being a good, strong, and appreciative worker in the early childhood field. 

When I Think of Child Development...

Testing for Intelligence

Until now, I was unsure of my beliefs and/or opinion regarding children being accessed in school for intelligence. Now that I have done my research on it I really find that it's necessary and has many benefits for both the children, the child's parents, and for the teachers. As everything else, I also believe it has some cons but I feel the pros outweigh the cons. Different types of testing is used in many different aspects of society such as driving, for business, and for education. There are several different types of assessments for young children. These include: Informal tests, formal tests, paper-pencil tests, performance tests, traditional assessments, authentic assessments, and standardized testing along with teacher-develop assessments. In most cases, standardized testing is given in the classroom. Assessments serve many purposes. Some of the purposes are: They guide instructional decision making, promote learning, promote self-regulation, determine what students have learned, and diagnose learning and performance problems.

Some of the pros of children being assessed are: Allows the students to set goals, it assesses students strengths and weaknesses, enables teachers to make better decisions in the classroom when it comes to their students, it's consistent and reliable, and assessments are conducted to serve as a way to report to parents, learn about the children and be aware of what they know and need to work on academically,  discovers how children change over time, helps teachers know what children are interested in and in what areas they are having difficulty. Some of the cons of children being assessed are students with poor writing/thinking skills may be at a disadvantage, it can decrease learning, it forces educators to prepare students for tests, and consistency of grading may be a problem.

When it comes to children being assessed I feel it's important that specific things are measured. I feel that children should be measured/assessed socially (How they interact with others), what they know (Their knowledge) their strengths and weaknesses, comprehension, and behavior/personality. If children were assessed based on how well they interact others teachers and parents can see if a child is behind in speech/language and if so they can get the child some help while they are still young. They can see if the child shows any signs of being anti-social, shy, or even outgoing. Knowing what the children knows is important for teachers and parents. This will allow the teachers to better understand their students and to create lesson plans each week. If the teacher is able to see in what areas the child excels in and what their weaknesses are, they will be able to help them work on those things. I feel it's very important for a child's behavior to be assessed just because a child's behavior tells a lot about the type of person they are and what is going on in their home life. It speaks high volumes for children who are not social and don't like to talk about things that are going on in their life. 

How are school-aged children assessed in other parts of the world? In England-their primary school system revealed that their children are now the most tested in the world. "Assessment in England, compared to our other reviewed countries, is pervasive, highly consequential, and taken by officialdom and the public more generally to portray objectively the actual quality of primary education in schools," their report concluded." (Cassidy, 2008) Many children in England were suffering from stress when it came to being assessed or tested. Primary schools in France focus on basic skills and are often used to assess a child's french grammar and spelling. At about eight years old, every child is given a national test of basic skills. The main reason for this test is to check the standard of the school. "Most primary schools have internal tests, or contrôles, in maths, French, geography and history, and English at the end of each of the five short terms that make up a school year. A child who is struggling can be asked to redoubler, or go down a year. A brilliant child can sauter, or go up." (Cassidy, 2008)

 A lot of what I learn is from other people and I always enjoy hearing others opinions on specific topics, especially important topics like this one. I asked a few friends of mine who are mothers their opinion on standardized testing and I thought their opinions were very interesting. I want to share their opinions with you.

"I don't believe those standardized tests are effective & instead a waste of time. Why? Because students don't usually care how they do & teachers only dothem because they are told they must do them to get government funding for their schools. Furthermore, time is wasted on studying for those tests instead of better use of time actually teaching students skills they will actually use in the real world beyond the educational arena. They tell the kids to be unique, then tell them to standardize themselves to this test & dress alike at commencement. How is that being unique???" (Ann Hampton, 2012)

"Needs more data than just one test! It is too much pressure on students & teachers. I just don't think it's an accurate reflection on the students' knowledge." (Roxanne Rheinscheld, 2012)
 
"Stacy, because of these tests I put my kids in a private school!!!" (Lysa Williams, 2012)

"How many standardized kids do you know?" (Tanya Rapavi, 2012) 

Out of these four mothers, not one of them agreed or was for standardized testing. I found that quite interesting!

 
References:

Cassidy, S. (2008, February 08). Our children tested to destruction. Retrieved from http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/our-children-tested-to-destruction-779790.html