Sunday, November 13, 2011

Personal Childhood Web

"You love her, you hate her, sometimes she's the last person you want to see but the first one you call for advice. That is the sea-saw of feelings between mothers and daughters." 
This is my Mother- (Beverly Ann) who was a Certified Nurses Aid by night and a stay at home Mom by day. Not only was she a Mother to my younger brother and I but she was also a foster Mom to several young children and eventually become an adoptive parent.  I could ask my Mom for anything and within reason she'd make sure I had it. I always had a very close-knit relationship with my Mom up until four years ago when I was forced to walk away from her. Let's just say that I am a daughter of a Mother who is struggling with drug addiction; that's just not something I choose to have in my life so I feel it was best to walk away. Although my Mom and I don't communicate or see each other, I know that my Mother loved me at one point in time. Growing up, I always felt loved by her and she always made me feel special. She always made sure we had a good meal on the table, always asked how my day at school was, was there when I needed help with something, but she wasn't the type of parent to accompany me on field trips or put me in a sport. As a child, I took her love for granted. Now that I'm an adult and no longer have it, I cherish what we once had now more then I ever have before. My Mom was far from perfect but was overall a good Mom until my teenage years and that's when she really changed. My mom has influenced me to want to be a better Mom then she ever was, to continue my education because I know she always thought I wouldn't, and to just be the best person I can be. My Mom is no longer a part of my life as she should be but even with that being said she has influenced me to not fall in her footsteps.

"Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad."  
This is my Father-( Daniel Lloyd). For as long as I can remember my Dad was always so hardworking. He was dedicated to taking care of his family and almost always had two jobs. He was married to my Mother for seventeen years before they divorced. During the time that my parents were married, they took a lot of children into their home and enjoyed being foster parents and later on ended up adopting a little boy. He has since re-married a wonderful woman who is now my Step Mom (Melody Elaine) She is really great! My Dad was good at teaching me how to work in the yard and how to play sports. (Kickball was my favorite!) No matter how often he worked I remember him always making time for me. He always included me in what he was doing weather it was something he did inside the house or something outside in the yard. My Dad and I have both had our share of good times and bad but we have a good father-daughter relationship and I love what we share even after everything we've been through. He's always there for me and he's always been special. I love him very much. My Dad has influenced me to be successful, to be happy with what I choose to do in life, and to make good decisions for me and my family. 
"Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every mornin'
And butterfly kisses at night."

(Lyrics from me and my Dad's song. We danced to"Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle at my wedding in 2008.)

"Those who have no grandparents lose very much." 
This is my Grandpa- (Theodore Williams) (My Dads biological Father) and in the picture with him is me. He was there on every single Holiday (Never missed any!) and always came to the house with gifts in his hands. If it was Easter he made sure to get me the prettiest Easter Basket he could find. If it was Christmas, he made sure to have several presents for me to open. He'd remind me that Santa stopped at his house and dropped off presents for me because I was a good girl! I always enjoyed my Grandpa's company on the Holiday's. With every visit, he'd bring me and my brother boxes of cracker jacks. It was a tradition every time he came over to our house. I always looked forward to the sticker that was in the inside. My Grandpa bought me my very first laptop when I was a teenager and to this day that still means so much to me. My Grandpa was very big on taking pictures of the family. He had several photo albums and cherished each one. He taught me how important it is to take pictures because one day that's all we'll have to look back on when our loved ones are no longer here. My Grandpa has influenced me to want to give to others. He has taught me that the little things in life are most important, not the big materialistic things. Family is most important! He always knew how to make me feel loved and important by doing the smallest things. He always encouraged me to do well in school and was just an all around wonderful Grandpa. Since then, my Grandpa has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and is currently in a nursing home hundreds of miles away from me in another state. He will forever hold a special place in my heart.

"Grandparents, like heroes, are as necessary to a child's growth as vitamins."  
This is my Grandpa- (Walter Lobotsky) (My Dad's Step Father) who was always so warm and welcoming. He had the biggest heart and would do anything for anyone. He had a big passion for planting and that is what he did for a living. I remember going to his house where there was a tree fort, visiting with his two dogs, and playing the piano. He'd come to our house very seldom but when he did it was always a good time. He'd bring us pumpkins before Halloween and loved spending time with me. He'd read to me before bed and always say goodnight in another language. (I can't remember what language!) My Grandpa Walter passed away several years ago when I was just a teenager but his memory is still alive. It seemed that no matter what was going on in his life he always had a smile on his face. My Grandpa has influenced me to smile even on days that are tough and to always put 110% into what I do.

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours but if they don't they never were." 

This is my best friend Ryan who I met in Elementary School. Not only is he my best friend but he is also my husband. We grew up together, rode the same school bus together, had some of the same classes together and even exchanged letters back and fourth in school. When I moved from New York to Florida when I was thirteen years old; Ryan and I kept in touch for several years before loosing contact. Years went by without any contact but I still thought about him everyday. One day I decided to try to find him on myspace and I did. He came to visit me where I was living in Florida and that's when we decided it was time to give ourselves a real chance at love. We fell in love with each other and got married on a cruise ship right off Clearwater beach on October 4, 2008. He always made me feel loved and special, even when we were several miles apart. He'd always make time to call me no matter how busy his day was. He'd write me long letters through the mail to remind me how much I meant to him. He always loved me and wasn't shy to show it. My husband has influenced me to be a great wife, to cherish my friendships, to be a wonderful Mother to our daughter, and has influenced me to be the most loving person I can be.

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